How to avoid working on your conference paper:
- Play timeshock!. Several games, if necessary.
- Go to the office and wait for the mail to arrive.
- Walk to the local coffee shop (1/2 mile away), buy a soda and read a book. Since the book is at least tangentially relevant to the paper, pretend that reading the book is the same thing as actually, you know, writing. Almost, anyway.
- Go back to the computer and play a few games of Spider Solitaire.
- Shelve some of this week's acquisitions.
- Throw toy mice for the cats.
- Observe that the refrigerator is, if not bare, devoid of two of the four food groups. Imagine maternal lectures about basic nutrition. Head off to the grocery store.
- Hope that the (very antiquated) car will start.
- Do victory dance when the car does indeed start.
- Notice that the cats seem to be sneezing quite a bit. Go in search of a new filter for the furnace.
- Try watching Law and Order: SVU. Turn it off.
- Translate some German.
- After much grumbling, write 1 1/2 paragraphs.
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