Things my students refuse to believe:
- That there's a stapler in the English department office.
- That when I ask them to answer X number of questions, I mean X number of questions--and not all of them.
- That when I tell them "I'm going to examine you on A, B, and C," I will indeed examine them on "A, B, and C," as opposed to "D, E, and F."
- That " " ( ).
- That they should keep a safe distance when informing me that they're currently suffering from an evil and contagious viral infection that has taken over their ability to enjoy life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. (Er, hello? E-mail me or use the phone, people.)
- That they should not ask me if they missed anything when they were absent. (Nah, those lectures were purely for my own entertainment.)