Not interested

Of all the ways to begin a letter of outraged protest, "I read with interest..." must qualify as one of the dullest.  And yet, it's everywhere.  (A recent issue of the TLS even had multiple instances.)  Wouldn't it be delightful if someone started off a letter to the editor by proclaiming, "I read with contempt..."? Or, perhaps, "I read with overwhelming disgust..."? And I could sympathize with "I read with thrills of indignation skittering down my spinal column..."

Comments

[Dr Pretorius]

I'd be in favor of reading something more along the lines of "I read with complete disinterest in an attempt to avoid doing the work I should .....". I have a feeling that it would be awfully accurate at times.

Maybe not accurate for letters to the editor, admittedly, but I've suspected that more than a few academic articles could be improved by starting them off that way.

[Brian Ogilvie]

How about, "I spewed coffee on my napkin when it penetrated my consciousness that...." ?

[Dr Pretorius]

Or "I read with a growing sense that this might afford opportunity to use one of the many letter-to-the-editor generators available online...."

[Jonathan Dresner]

I think the point is that the writer is sufficiently interested in the subject to actually read what's being written and to have a visceral reaction to it. It's not original, but it's honest: we don't write letters about things which bore us....