1. Observe the human lying on her stomach, reading a book. Insert yourself between the book and her face, thereby granting her an excellent view of black fur.
2. Lie down on the book (or term papers, if available).
3. Carry off any pens and pencils to an undisclosed location.
4. Observe the human reclined on the couch, reading a book. Establish yourself on her stomach.*
5. Observe the human typing. Jump on her lap, then carefully drape yourself over her left arm**, thereby pinning it to the armrest.
1. Bring a toy mouse over and pointedly drop it at the human's feet, meowing until she obliges by entertaining you. Repeat if necessary.***
2. See #3, above.
3. Observe the human being typing. Jump on her lap, then shove the keyboard shelf out of the way.
4. Insist on being cradled in the human's left arm.
5. If the human persists in inappropriate behavior (i.e., typing), rub your head repeatedly against her hands while they're occupied with keyboard.
6. If so desired, rest your chin comfortably on the keys.
7. Sit on the printer.
*--Have I mentioned that Dizzy weighs over fourteen pounds? This is a little hard on the diaphragm and digestive system.
**--Yes, it's always the left arm. No, I don't know why. We're talking about a cat, remember?
***--Vicki will "fetch" up to five times if I persist in my bad behavior (i.e., working), but she won't do it on command.