Stop it! Stop it, I say!

C-18 L is currently debating that age-old question: how do you stop students from using "empty" or "gushing" language in their essays? Is it possible to stem the tide of meaningless adjectives and adverbs, misused expletives, mangled comparisons, and other malfeasances?

For years, I've been waging war against similarities and differences.  As in: "These poems/characters/novels/films/video games/whatever have many similarities and many differences."  Every year, as part of my introduction to writing thesis statements, I trot out my spiel, which goes something like this:

There is one sentence that I want you to avoid at all costs.  [Writes "These poems have many similarities and many differences" on the board.]  Do not write this sentence.  Do not think this sentence.  Do not even begin to imagine this sentence.  What's wrong with it? [Student: "What similarities and differences?"] Yes! This sentence means absolutely nothing.  If you find this sentence creeping into your consciousness, tear it out and stamp on it.   Banish it from your mind.  Because if I see this sentence in your papers, I will scream loudly and write "Arrrgggh!" in the margins.

The students are always amused, of course.  They then write thesis statements about "many similarities and differences."  Loud howls of dire anguish follow, much to the chagrin of my poor cats (or fellow patrons of the local coffee shop, at least).  It generally takes one paper's worth of marginal screams before the students become fully aware that it's possible to write a thesis statement without racking the instructor.  A clear thesis statement that actually has something to do with the argument, even. 

Presumably, as one contributor to the thread suggests, you could explicitly dock the students for writing what a colleague describes as "soap suds," although I usually file such penalties under the more general category of "argumentation." Otherwise, though, I think you just have to rely on a very old-fashioned pedagogical adage: "instructor, repeat thyself." 

Comments

[The Roaring Girl]

I actually screamed in horror when a student said he would begin his paper, "According to Webster's Dictionary...." Nooooooooooooo!

[Puplet]

To avoid students telling you about "many similarities and differences", you need to go back in time and wipe "Compare and Contrast" from their lives...

[Bourgeois Nerd]

I think the "many similarities and many differences" thing comes from what is drummed into us in middle and high school regarding essays (usually for some standardized test). If I heard, "tell me what you're going to tell me, tell me, then tell me what you told me," once, I heard it a thousand times. So, in a compare and contrast essay, one has to SAY that two things have both similarities and differences. Basically, we're taught to be excruciatingly repetitive and to be very "clear" about what your essay is about. Thus, the argh-inducing sentence.

[Sherman Dorn]

Thanks, Miriam! I'll second the remark about students who use dictionary definitions and other creative ways of avoiding saying anything in an introduction. More on student writing at my blog.

[Marya]

I think there is a general terror of saying anything specific in a thesis statement that needs to be trained out of them. They get that it's supposed to be a generalization, but not how wide is too wide.

My favorite ever student thesis statement (from a paper describing the visual style of a magazine) was "There are basically five senses, of which sight is a very important one."

[Puplet]

Odd isn't it? Seeing that the universities teach the teachers, you would have thought the school-leavers would be all prepared for uni...

[CCPhysicist]

Don't you want them to "stomp" on it? ;-) The "stamp" you need is a self-inking one that says Arrrgggh! in your favorite font and ink color. Saves writing time.

Puplet misses the point that a compare and contrast essay should start with a thesis statement that says precisely which similarities and differences are going to be identified, and end with a conclusion that summarizes *exactly* how that was done. The problem is not the essay, it is the grading of it.

And if you think that is bad, you should see some of the lab reports I get to read. Talk about vague!

[luolin]

Since the beginning of time, students have resorted to "empty" or "gushing" language...

Sorry, I couldn't resist.