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March 23, 2009


Rich Puchalsky

That's really cool that the paragraph begins with "Joyfully she ascended the steps". I imagine a sort of Victorian disciplinary impulse, to make teens ashamed of trying to acquire treasures, but it may just be a standard hack-work overstriving for shock value. Good either way.

But what are the treasures? Perhaps we should have a comment-box contest, or something, to see who can think of what the best little treasures would be.

1. Baby bunny rabbits. The protagonist, in horror at the murder of her family, drops them and accidently steps on them, crushing their skulls.

2. Sewing needles and thread. In shock, the protagonist numbly bends down and tries to sew people back together.

3. Dolls. The protagonist goes mute through trauma and can only describe what she found at the inquest by replicating the scene by mutilating each doll to stand for a member of her family.


That is so awesome. I totally would have loved that as a young teenager.

Rich Puchalsky

Hey, why not put this on the Valve? Why not your robots-teach-poetry post, too?

Bourgeois Nerd

That title tickles me something fierce. It's like Mrs. Cooke feels the need to shout, "It's BASED ON FACTS, Y'ALL! I didn't just make it all up!" except in a more proper, Victorian manner.

Isn't "when she stumbled over the bloody head of her father, the body from which it was severed lay at a little distance" a comma splice? It wouldn't be if it were "laying" instead of "lay," but as is, is one.


My guess at the treasures: china saint statuettes.


Man, I hate it when that happens.

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