1. Shortly after arriving in California, I begin a regime of non-stop hacking and coughing. This makes me sad. Eventually, I hack and cough my way over to the local hospital, which informs me that I have bronchitis. This continues to make me sad, but in a diagnosed sort of way.
2. By the time I arrive at MLA, I am down to one or two really bad coughing fits per day, but no longer need to drug myself to sleep at night. (Granted, I insist on having these coughing fits during interviews--"Er, don't worry, neither dying nor contagious"--but still.) On the last day of MLA, however, I realize that I am now sick with something else. Sadness persists.
5. On the second day of my classes--the second day!--I wake up and feel...strange. I get to work and continue to feel strange. And then, certain untoward events occur which suggest to me that perhaps my students might not altogether appreciate my presence in the classroom. I go home and resign myself to a temporary diet of ginger ale and saltines. Today, I'm still confined to the house, sniffly and groggy. Also, sad.
Dear immune system: what is going on? It's time to get your act together.