As I know my readers often appreciate a glimpse at what I'm teaching, let me offer this preview of next year's exciting lineup.
- Write Your Own Adventure: A Student-Centered Learning Experience. Bored with reading stuffy old Victorian novels? Can't bear the sight of one more Shakespeare play? This class is for you! Students will develop syllabi keyed to their own interests, craft their own assignments, and even handle their own grading. The instructor will drop in now and again to convey priceless pearls of wisdom. No requirements unless you want to have requirements! No reading unless you want to have reading! And, of course, no exams unless you...you get the idea. Fulfills any distribution requirement you feel like having it fulfill.
- I'll Bring Popcorn: Best Strategies for Internet Flame Wars. Many students feel that college composition courses don't have adequate real-world applications. In this class, we'll focus on developing your skills in three key areas: invective, outrage, and name-calling. But with grammar. Over the course of the semester, students will participate in at least six online mudslinging events, preferably on subjects about which they have chosen to remain ignorant. Points will be deducted for signs of rational thought, charity, or sense of proportion. This course is a prerequisite for Advanced Astroturfing.
- Relatable Literature. This course is devoted to fiction to which students can relate. All assigned texts will accurately reflect the one true undergraduate experience. There will be nothing strange, untoward, bizarre, or otherwise unreflective of the one true undergraduate experience. I guarantee that students will be able to completely identify with all events, characters, and ideas in each and every text. Assignments will include the complete works of Dan Brown and Stephenie Meyer. By the end of the semester, students will complete a quantitative research project gauging the precise relatability of each work.
- The Victorian Cosplay Experience. In this class, we will remedy the paucity of opportunities for students to display their skills in cobbling, dressmaking, and haberdashery. Instead of close reading, students will analyze novels by Carroll, Dickens, and Braddon, among others, by building costumes based on the texts and then staging elaborate set pieces for their fellow students. This is your opportunity to have a Mad Tea Party, die a terribly sentimental death, or drop someone down a well. (In a classroom. And not for real. No lawsuits, please.) Patterns available on request.
- The Great Novels of Edward Bulwer-Lytton. An ideal class for students who need three credits of coursework, but don't have the time to do any reading. Seriously, have you looked at the title?