1. I was pleased to see that the village's tree, which had had the bad manners to topple over onto my lawn right before my departure, has now disappeared. Not least because of this exchange:
ME: Hi, village! I disapprove of your tree on my lawn.
VILLAGE: It's not our tree. It's the town's* tree. Call the town!
ME: Hi, town! The village says that that's your tree on my lawn.
TOWN: That can't possibly be our tree. But we'll check.
[ME: *rolls eyes*]
TOWN: That's the village's tree! But it's blocking our creek, so we might as well remove it.
*Feel free to insert discussion of complex and frequently incomprehensible relationship between the village and the town here.
2. I now have ferns. I did not have ferns prior to my departure. I have been assured that once you have ferns, you really, really have ferns, quite possibly until the apocalypse.
3. I no longer have baby trees growing in my gutters. I feel sure we can all agree that having baby trees in one's gutters is suboptimal.
4. Speaking of baby trees, the previously-small tree in my backyard is no longer quite so small. I blame the rain.
5. Also not so small: the weeds. (My gardener mows the lawn; weeds, however, are not in his purview.)
6. Before going on vacation, it is generally a good idea to return all one's ILL books, and not all one's ILL books except one.