(Inspired by some...larger tendencies, some contradictory, not by anyone or any outlet in particular. Though I've certainly detected some of these habits in myself...)
I am the very model of a pundit academical,
I've idées fixes artistic, scientific, and political;
I’ve a hundred ways to call the admin highly hypocritical,
And sometimes it’s in phrasing that descends to the emetical;
I'm very well acquainted too with matters pedagogical,
Which I pronounce on in a tone that's truly theological,
About research esoteric I am tweeting with so much abuse,
Although the second reader called my book proposal too diffuse!
[Although the second reader &c.]
I'm very good at clickbait that's superbly supercilious,
I know exactly just the thing to make my colleagues bilious,
In short, in fields artistic, scientific, and political,
I am the very model of a pundit academical.
I know our storied theorists, from Cleanth Brooks to Derrida,
I lecture long on p-hacking, I ponder Disney's Merida,
I’ve versified Greenblatt's The Swerve in macaronics marvelous,
And pontificate on syllabi while never seeming querulous;
I can tell Baudrillard from Wittgenstein and H. Cixous from F. Tönnies,
I sneer at frauds while hyping my unpublishable masterpiece,
Then I can pitch a hot take on something I’ve not read before,
And if no-one will run it, well that’s what my dormant blog is for!
Then I can speak of budgets in a manner tropological,
And turn the latest scandal into something anagogical;
In short, in fields scientific, artistic and political
I am the very model of a pundit academical.
In fact, when I know what's meant by “committee work” and “overload”;
When I can tell at sight a learning outcome from an add/drop code;
When such affairs as meetings and advisement I’m more present at,
And when I know a mortarboard and tassel from a bowler hat;
When I can name five colleges whose halls are hardly ivy-decked,
When I can update Blackboard without losing all my self-respect,
In short, when I get that scholars unlike me are really not suspect,
You’ll say a pundit academic’s never been so ego-checked!
For though the language in my op-eds is particularly visceral,
I fear (alas) my wisdom’s proving eerily ephemeral,
But still, in fields artistic, scientific, and political,
I am the very model of a pundit academical.
Great article. This is my first time of visiting littleprofessor.typepad.com. Keep up the good work
Posted by: Daniel | April 30, 2018 at 11:48 AM
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Posted by: Daniel | April 30, 2018 at 11:51 AM